Honesty

*

I was praying today with a bunch of good, old-fashioned Christians in the middle of a youngest capital of Europe (an interesting place, which - if I'm to be perfectly honest - is on the verge of becoming funny due to overdoing self-made, self-centred hype), when a passer-by rudely hissed our way her much too honest opinion about us and our noble cause.

I turned my head to look at her, a short fat and ugly woman and thought, slightly too honestly: “A sevener** “. Then I took another quick glance and corrected myself, even more honestly: "Or niner”.

 *Yes, you got it: phallic. I thought the - I admit: unsettlingly so - erotic strand in this moving short story might justify a reference to the phallus. Was I right? (Generally my faith in my classical style et exquisite taste is as solid as any of the remaining Doric columns of the Parthenon, but sometimes - I'm just a human, don't forget, however tempted you may be - I have second thoughts...)***

**after getting married. Being a good old-fashioned Christian I don’t believe in sex before marriage. Bu if I am to be completely honest, looking at that minger you could stop believing in sex after marriage, too.

***I realise there is a chance I may have to apologise one day for my classical style et exquisite taste: this whole phallus strand - it's a close call in extremis; either outrageously funny or an absolutely hopeless, off-putting dud.