Saturday, 12 May 2012

O tempora, o mores!




It’s midnight, Sunday is just about to begin and I’m next up. I look with anxiety at a group of young men behind me and wonder what their reaction will be. One of them is in the middle of a shaggy dog joke.

“And for you?”, the shop assistant’s voice is impatient. He won’t let me muse for too long and slow down  turnover on the best night of the week for his business, a 24h off-licence.

“2 bottles of lager…”, I cut the sentence short, hoping the guy will somehow guess the rest and save me embarrassment. But he doesn’t and his hand reaches for the good kind of lager, which is – for me - the wrong kind.

“… alcohol-free, please.” I close my eyes expecting the worst. And the queue bursts out laughing – at the punch line of the joke (I’ve been so tense I don’t get it). 


I grab the bottles barely paying for them, hang my head low in shame and sneak out of the shop like the worst kind of drunk. That I once was.




PS Don't ever let alcoholism come between you and your drink and ruin a happy union.